Peace and Quiet

I am sitting at home enjoying some peace and quiet and I thought that I should take advantage of this moment and reflect. So that is what I am going to do.
Let me start off by getting one thing out though. I have been feeling a bit of 'woe is me' these last few days. Not that I am having a pity party or anything, just that I feel bad for my little guy and wishing he was a little more healthy. But as I read about some friends, I realize just how lucky I am to just be dealing with these few issues. He is out of the hospital, not on any meds, breathing....living. I need to be thankful everyday just for that. I need to change my outlook a bit.

OK, reflection time.

Looking back to where we were last year, is just crazy. I was newly pregnant, so happy in my marriage and freshly moved into our apartment and oblivious to what 2008 was going to bring. Sadness, excitment, loads and loads of sobing and more love than I could ever express. I was slightly surprised to be pregnant, but more than thrilled. We had been trying for some time with a small little 'break'.... you could say. As my dad said, there is only one way to 'not try'. So we welcomed this pregnancy with well open arms. The new year came and Josh got laid off. Not a huge deal, but it became one shortly thereafter. With all that stress, our marriage took it toll. We had been in counseling and it was working. As we finally made it to our 5 month marker, we couldn't wait to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. I wanted a girl so bad, but I kind of knew it was a boy. We could hardly keep it together waiting for that u/s. As we got situated and started, we joked and laughed. Then the tech said, things don't look very good. I remember the devistation that I felt. I was trying to keep it together, but I don't think that I did a very good job. The next day we went and saw a specialist but it was still so scary. The outlook wasn't very good.

We then got sent to Bellevue, where I met the most amazing doctors. Dr Walker and Dr Paek. They became my hero's. The day we met them, they performed a procedure where they drained fluid from Lucas' chest cavity. Talk about freaky. It was basically like an amnio, but this time they wanted to get the baby. I remember him jerking when they poked him. Poor little man. We thought we'd be going back weekly for him to be drained and then needing to deliver him early. But every week Lucas became better and better. As I approached my 40 weeks we believed he was going to be fine and healthy. We just said it over and over. Which I guess wasn't the smarted thing, in hindsight. They induced me 2 days before my 40 week mark. It was a strange weekend, thats for sure. The most emotional weekend ever! Thank God my mom flew in that Friday. Lucas was born on 8/09. What a miracle. Just a few months before they told us that he wouldn't make it. He was doing ok at that hospital, but I wasn't. I had a spinal headache, and let me tell you, its toture. I had to lay flat for about a week and I was so miserable. Lucas was sent to Seattle and I was stuck in a bed.

He was transfered to Seattle Childrens Hospital, where he spent 3 more weeks. He was such a little trooper, defying all the odds. He had 2 surgeries. One to repaid his hernia and the other to fix his intestines. After 32 days in the hospital, he finally came home. It was so exciting. As the weeks and months went by, he just blew us all away. We went from seeing doctors every week, to now only a couple times a month. He has made leaps and bounds.
This little man is truely a miracle. This year in our lives will never be forgotten. I wrote earlier about my marriage. Well, it has made another year. We struggled, but we came out on top. We've been through so much stress and emotion and in the end its brought us together.

And don't let me forget my big boy Joshua. He is just a great kid. Full of life and energy. He sure keeps us on our toes. If he weren't such a great independent kid, this year would have been even harder. I couldn't have made it through without him!

Here are a few pictures from this last year.

Our little family of 3








1st utrasound picture









Lucas Henry

About 8 months pregnant

Right before delivery

My little Angle

Lucas

Halloween 2008

Joshua Paul on his 3rd bday

Joshua and I in NY

Josh and Joshua

Our family of 4

Christmas Time

Here are few pictures from our time over at Alice and Bill's. We had a really nice time. We just hung out Christmas Eve and played games and munched on snacks. Christmas morning was nice and relaxing. We had a bug breakfast around 10 and then opened presents. We just sat around all day, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Not having an agenda and schedule is wonderful. We had a fantastic meal later that day. Over all it was great. We got lots of great things, but spending time with family is the best. I said to Josh in the car on the way home how its funny how things change when you are an adult. I remember being a teenager and being so utterly bored. All I wanted to do was leave and do anything. Something other than being at home. Now that is ALL I want to do. Hang at home and do nothing. Play games with my family. Its just funny.

Merry Christmas

Well, this time comes every year and this happens every year. I miss my family. As much as I love my family here in WA, its just not the same without my parents and brothers. I did see them all and get my fill, but I still dream of a day when I can drive to visit them. Where my kids can go for the weekend. When we can have family nights with my side. Its sad. I miss you guys.

Well, today I am packing up for the night and heading to Alice and Bills. We decided to make it a tradition to spend Christmas Eve there with Matt and Maggie. So that is the plan. There sure is a lot to pack. Clothes for 4, all of the crap that goes along with that. Bottles and baby gear, the griddle for Christmas breakfast, and loads of presents for everyone. And I can only exect it to multiply when we get ready to come home. Oh yea, fun!

Anyway, I'll be sure to post some pictures when we get back. I wish you all a merry Christmas!

Oh and I will also try to get my hubby to video tape Lucas laughing. I never got Joshua laughing and I regret it. So I really want this one captured. He weighed in today at 12lbs 4 oz. Not the greatest but we'll take a gain. Thats 5 oz in a week. And we are back on the g-tube for a few oz a day. Oh well.

I have plenty to write about these last couple of weeks, but I'm just not up for it tonight. I am here solely to post a video and hoping that my slow computer will cooperate. I bought a jumperoo for Lucas in hopes that it might help his neck strengthen. He is most happy standing, but I can't hold him all day, so I thought this would help. So last night we put him in it and well, see for yourself. Its so funny. Disregard my husband talking in the background though.

OK, so as I wait not so patientl for my video to upload I might as well fill you in on whats been happening. Joshua is just about potty trained. #2 and everything. Its amazing. We are so proud. Lucas is doing pretty good. He is gaining weight, but just not getting in what we really want him to right now. So we are back to using his g-tube for a few more ounces at night. We are hoping that he can really put some weight on and that he'll do it on his own.

We built a gingerbread house together as a family. Yes, its from scratch. Can you expect anything less from me? Josh and I started it while Joshua was napping and we had a great start. But after Joshua woke up and we kept telling him to stop, don't touch that. Go sit down. We thought it was mean, so we let him help. After many candies popped in his mouth here is our final result:

I also wanted to add the one of Josh watching Mary Poppins....by himself. Who would have ever thought that he would like that movie? Oh and he things that Julie Andrews is beautiful. :o)

And this one of Joshua is just one for the books. Its going to be the one I show his wife to be someday. LOL. That will be a fun day.

All bundled up to go outside and play in the snow!

Off the charts!

So yes, I always new my boys were special. But who knew this much? We went to the pediatrician yesterday. Joshua had his 3 year check up and Lucas had his 4 month check up. Mr. Joshua is pushing 48 pounds. On the charts he is probably ranging around the 150th percintile. Yes, thats my boy!!!
Lucas is special too. He's around the -75th percentile. Is that even right? Maybe the 0.75 ?? Whatever. LOL. We are trying different ways to get some meat on that boy. Working around breast milk and formula. We might have to start making the formula a higher calorie count too. Its interesting to hear our dietician talk. Weight per kilo's, yada yada. Who knows what she is talking about.

Things are going well though. I'm almost done breast feeding though. While on vacation, I was breast feeding exclusivly. But after he lost weight, I was pumping and giving him formula. But now that I am only pumping, my milk is almost gone. After 4 months of just mostly pumping, I am at the end. I am proud of myself for making it to our origional goal of actually breast feeding, and for pumping this long. But Lucas' health is most important and he needs more. And well, formula is way easier for momma too.

Lucas is one happy baby that is for sure. Our therapists were excited to see his progress since before we left for NY. His eye sight has improved so much and his motor skills are great. Our dr was excited too. Actually saying that his motor skills are that of a 4 month old! Holy cow. How amazing. God is good!

Our big boy Joshua is doing well too. He started potty training Monday, and much to my surprise, is doing awesome!!! We started off having to pee every 20 minutes. Yes, 20 minutes all day long. Tuesday was about 30 minutes. And Wednesday was averaging about every hour. And today was much better around an hour and a half. We tried training him in NY but it just didnt work. I wasn't ready and neither was he. Its just working and I am more than thrilled.

What a 'vacation' we've had. I was hoping to get away and have a break from dr's appointments, but that didn't happen. We saw the chiropractor, podiatrist, and pediatrician. 5 appointments in all. But it was worth it. As long as my little guy is healthy and happy, thats all that matters.
Something happened with Lucas though. Not sure what it was. The chiropractor, the venting and relief of gas. But little Lucas is such a happy boy. Before we left, he never really smiled. Never cooed. And now he is doing both. Its amazing! Yesterday, he ever rolled over! From back to front. Its quite incredible. He is looking at you, staring, following. What a miracle. Its amazing to see the progress in just a few weeks. I can't wait to see his therapists and show them how amazing he is!
Here are a few pictures of my guys and a video of Lucas smiling. He's so sweet. It'll bring a smile to your face.

Lucas having the dredded tummy time.

zonked

What a sweet face. Tell me...could you not smile at that face?!

My boys

My birthday boy!

Pre birthday nap. Notice- no pacifiers!

Joel and his fiance Kristin

Lucas joining in on the party.

Oh yea, guns.

Uncle Joel helping Joshua

My little boy is 3! 3 yeers olnd. Thats how he says it anyway. I had wanted to do some kind of party, but I kept putting it off, not sure of what to do. McDonalds was booked up for a few months, so that was out. So we just ordered pizza and wings from my favorite wing place. We had chocolate cupcakes and green ice cream, Joshua's favorite. My friend Tiffany and her 2 boys, Christian and Cameron came too. They are older, but get a kick out of Joshua. Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joel, Aunt Kristin, grandma Kris, and Grandpa Tom joined us too. We had a lot of fun. It was a bit crazy....and a bit loud. But overall it was a success.

I like to think of myself as pretty centimental, but this year I didn't cry. LOL. I do want to write a few things down, and here is where its easiest at this point in my life.

This year Joshua has grown leaps and bounds. He talks up a storm and is so full of energy. He loves running and jumping...and growling. He knows all of his colors, shapes, alphabet, and can count to 20. He has been to quite a few places in his life too. He was born in Texas. Has traveled to Florida, California, New York and Hawaii. All in 3 years. Wow!

He is a fiesty kid, but he is oh so loving. He may hit once in a while, but he is always quick to say he is sorry and give a hug. He is rarely ever shy. He'll offer a hug and a hello to almost anyone, anywhere.

Joshua knows how to push my buttons, but I would never trade him for anything. He has been a great big brother and such a trooper through these last few months. If I had a momma's boy, I don't think that he would have been so great through our stay in the hospital. Even after 3 years, I get teary eyed thinking of the day that I found out I was pregnant. He was the most easy going baby ever, just exactly what I needed at that time in my life. He is the light of my life and I love him so.