Lately I've been feeling out of sorts. I've been feeling not myself. Stressed, worried, tired- ok exhausted, scared. Those of which aren't really me. Yes, I stress. Yes I worry. Yes, I'm tired. But lately, its been to the extreme. I think that the last year is finally catching up to me. Life has taken its toll and I'm kinda freaking out. The 'week of tears' kind of put me in a rut and I haven't been able to get out of it. We are in the process of planning a weekend getaway which is well well over due and sooooooooooooo needed. Can you tell I really need a break? :o)
I've been worried about myself, a good sign I guess in the scheme of things. If I didn't care about my well being then you should probably worry. I've been not wanting to be a mom, homemaker (which is legally my job title) and wife. Its all been no fun and I want a change of pace. No fun you ask? Well, let me elaborate. I've been dealing with a 3 year old potty trained, jealous, not getting enough time with mom, high spirited, full of energy, acting out little boy. He does weird, very werd things to get my attention. Like peeing on his toys. Pooping on the floor. Stuff like that. Oh yes, that is the no fun I am talking about. I am hoping that this is a phase or way of getting mom's attention, because if this is the ride called life- I WANT OFF! I love that boys and daily he makes me smile. But lately, oohhhh, I just don't know what to do. And more of the no fun.... a fussy, skinny, not getting enough time with mom, needs a lot of attention, 8 month old baby. Oh its just a joy.
And let me just add a little bit of more 'no fun' stuff. Cleaning, cooking, budgetting, laundering, cleaning up of pee on toys, poop off floors, and baking (ok that one if fun).
I am not complaining. I actually have a point to this WHOLE blog. As it is a way for me to vent to the hundreds of people reading (ok 30, LOL), it is also to share this little tid bit.
As I drove down the highway today in a bit of a funk, I saw something neat on the side of the road. There was a little bunch of flowers blooming. It was surrounded by weeds, trash and other not so great stuff found in ditches. But through all of the junk, the flowers bloomed. As I looked at those flowers (while driving 60mph down the highway) I realized that I needed to be like those flowers. Surrounded by junk, i.e. cleaning-stressing-kids, I needed to bloom and grow. That even in this crazy stressful time in my life, there is more important things to focus on. Growing as a person. As a christian, a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. I hope that in some part of my life that while I am blooming and growing that I can bring laughter, love and brighten someone's day, just like that flower patch did for me today.
Oh and here are some pictures from todays family day.
Happy Easter!!
When the boys first got together. Joshua and Micah...and Lucas!
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My little boy is getting so big!
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Cool toys from the grandma's!
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Uncle Gabe and Lucas
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Hanging with the grandma's. Gma Alice, Micah, Joshua and Gma Robin.
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Cousins playing
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Trying to find the eggs
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Joshua
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Reach!!
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Yes, its April. Looks like we hid eggs in October!
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Auntie Robin and Uncle Tim
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These were a big hit!
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Lemon Cheesecake
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My whoops, what can I make strawberry pie. It turned out pretty good.
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My cyster Denelle's baby Mariana. (Cysters is spelled wrong on purpose!)
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And me. :o)