Friday, July 16, 2010

At a Loss

I've been having a rough week. Normal for my life right now. Normal for my life, in general. Since I've been in NY the last 3 weeks, I've faced the facts that I'll probably be moving. Now don't get me wrong, I love New York. I love the people here, the food, the beauty. But I LOVE Washington. I mean, really, really, love it there. The weather is pretty great. The activities are great. Man, its just fricken great. But knowing that I need to be somewhere else is a struggle. I need my family. I need New York.

So the last couple of days I've felt lost. I've felt like I don't belong anywhere. I know that I am loved. I am loved by people here and there. Loved by people everywhere! (LOL Sorry, too much Dr's Suess)

I know who I am. And that has always meant that I can fit in anywhere. So this is a new feeling for me. I've moved to new places. Met new peple, time and time again. But having my life ripped away and feeling lost, is the strangest part.
When you add that I've lost weight and started exercizing, I feel like I have a new body too. I went from knowing who I am to being someone who is lost.

I was: the chubby, stay at home mom and wife who baked, cooked and cleaned.
I am: newly single, running, thinner mommy who is gonna start college again and get a job

What? Its nuts!

So I guess that I need to start figuring out who I am now. I know that I will always be fun, ready to laugh, excited about life (soon again, I hope) loving, friendly, opinionated, cranky, chocolate loving, straight forward, honest and generous.

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