I just wanted to write a little update but I am making it quick. Its late and I am tired!!

On Saturday we tried binky training and it didn't go well. Lucas' breathing got really heavy and never seemed to slow down. It would get slightly normal and then shoot back up high. So they slowed down his milk increases and stopped the binky training.
Sunday his rates were still high and they were concerned. Monday, the same. So this morning, they came in and talked with me a little. They ordered another chest x-ray to make sure things looked ok. They also ordered another echo cardiogram to see what his heart was looking like. They wanted to see if the holes were starting to close up. And the surgeon came in and said he was ordering another upper GI, but this time they wanted to give him something to drink and so they could watch what happened when he swallows.
The chest x-ray looked good. And even today his respiratory rates were much better. So we are hoping that things just get better and we can start feeds back again.

That's about it right now. I have some new pictures, but I left my camera cord at the hospital. I think that I am going to try and go up to Children's in the mornings and come back in the evenings. Josh is still home this week taking care of Joshua, but next week we'll have to see what happens.


I did want to write something. Not really for anyone to read, but kind of for myself. Maybe for when I get discouraged or tired.
---Yesterday I was sitting holding my little boy. Looking into his little eyes, I realized how much I love him. I have loved him from day 1, but with everything that has happened and knowing that there is going to be a long difficult road ahead, its been a struggle daily. But I suddenly realized that no matter what life brings us, I will love him more than anything. I know that he is going to be an amazing part of this family. I know that he is going to change the way that I look at life. I know that he is going to change the way so many people look at life. I am excited about his future. I am scared, but my excitement is stronger! I can not wait to see what this little guy can do!

I also know that somewhere and somehow I want to help other people with this. I don't know what that means yet, but I already desire to know more and help others know more. I want to be a part of something....whatever that means. :)

Its late and this whole post is probably a little scatter brained. But you all know me.....that is totally normal!

Oh and I was looking at the local hospital's website tonight. They have a children's therapy unit and it looks pretty awesome. They work with infants, so I assume that is where we will be taking our 'classes'. Here is a video, if you want something to watch.

http://www.multicare.org/files/library/0c6d3425f9f2626d.swf