Today I Bawled

As I played with Lucas tonight, I just started bawling. He was laughing. I was smelling his perfect baby smell. I looked at his beautiful face and started crying, hard. I was hit hard with a feeling from way, way back. When I was first faced with the difficult pregnancy and when Lucas was first born I wasn't filled with love for him. It came after about a week when we were really together. Then I really fell in love. But tonight, I was just in shock that I could have ever doubted my love for him. I can not imagine him any other way. I can not imagine my life any differently. I love him and accept him fully, just the way that my God made him. He is perfect. He is beautiful. I am so in love with that little man, I can not contain myself. I am so thankful for his sweet nature, peaceful spirit and loving face. The way that he looks at you and lights up. The way he suffers from pain or problems, and after, he loves you like no other. I am so blessed, beyond measure with him. I am so thankful God gave him to us. I am so happy to be his mommy. I love my Lukey.