Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Words to remember....

Recently, I have been surrounded by such encouraging relationships that have been helping me become a better parent. It makes me wish that I had these relationships from the beginning when Lucas was born. So, if at all possible, I want to be that 'someone', for someone else.

I sent this to a friend the other day hoping to encourage her, but in turn, it encouraged me.

Her baby is having surgery soon and she said it would be like starting over. This was my reply:

It will be. And then, you'll handle it perfectly and relearn. It'll always be one step forward, two steps back. But 100% honest (and now I'm crying), that one step forward, no mater how big or small, will blow you away. You'll celebrate it like other parents can't even imagine!

Simple meaningless things will matter! And it'll change you're life in the best ways!!

Right now my frustration is with seeing the people I was pregnant with on Facebook, with their 5 year olds, getting ready for kindergarten. They can do everything, and we are soo far behind. It's been one of the hardest things to deal with over the years:


I go through phases with it. Sometimes it's no big deal, and other times I'm sad or just plain angry.

But, she {her daughter} will love. Love so strong, without inhibitions, fear or conditions. She will be happy with one friend or 12, or even, just you. The things in life that mean the most to us, sometimes, won't even have a part for her (or Lucas); and it makes us sad because we hold it so important. But that's not what life is sometimes. Life is about living to the fullest. Loving who you are and what you are doing! She will have that. She will have joy from the simplest pleasures in life.

My kid freaks out over ceiling fans. Like, loves them more than almost anything. And that to him is important. And that changes my life!! Now, I love ceiling fans too, and running water. It's the purest joy and it is absolutely incredible.

But there will be times of sadness, and disappointment. But honestly, I think its just what us parents go through, not the kids.

I will read this time and time again, and I will use these words to calm my fears and to encourage me when I'm feeling discouraged. I hope that it helped her and that it will somehow be words that she will always keep in her heart.

Being a parent to a child with disabilities is so hard. There are days when I just want to crawl in bed and cry and hide away. I am exhausted from everyday life, changing diapers every single day for the past 7 1/2 years, dealing with specialists and medications, therapies and school, and the other million things. But it is also the most rewarding job. One little smile from your child can change your entire day. One little 'move' that he's been working on for months in therapy, can make your horrible week worth every second. And a hug instead of a hit in the face, makes all of the hits in the face, OK.

I've always wondered my purpose in life. I never had a real career path, until I was forced into a finding a job after my divorce. I feel like I have chosen the right path, but it wasn't something that has come easy for me. But what I have recently discovered is that I was made to be my son's mom. I know that every parents says that about their children, and it's true.
 I never knew why I was here until now....and it is an incredible feeling. <3 p="">

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Really inspiring even to one who lives with this mom. God encourages, it is Him and all Him.